if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
