I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Randomize
