i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
