That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
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