Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Randomize
