lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
