She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize