batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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