so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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