Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Randomize
