Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
