he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
