There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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