if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
