dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
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