We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
