it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
