Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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