ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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