She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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