dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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