3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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