I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
My penis needs a shock collar
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
