so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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