Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
