Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Randomize
