i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
