Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
