Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
