it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Randomize
