im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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