so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Green mimosas i think yes
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
