I can text with my tongue
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
we're making bets on your personal life
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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