12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
