She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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