You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Randomize
