im having a threesome with these popsicles
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
