Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Randomize
