Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
