is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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