I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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