Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
