I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
