Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
