Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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