I'm going to rape someone's good day.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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