Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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