the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
