new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
