you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Drake has all the answers
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
