He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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