Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
