somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
