She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
