The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
We got so high we made milksteak
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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