cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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